Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Are the chickens coming home to roost in Iran? How soon till they land in America?

In reading this article about an explosion in Iran, I wonder if that country isn't starting to experience a turning inward of what appears to be a consistent call to violence against the west and its perceived allies. Maybe not a call but a distinct lack of condemnation that legitimizes it. If it is legitimate to encourage the use of car bombs against your external enemies, how long until your own internal factions realize that these same weapons can be used against you? What worries me more is that, it can't be long until it will be more common in our own country. I'm not talking about some sort of 9/11 style attack but something more akin to the Oklahoma City bombing. I worry that in seeing how effective and disruptive these style attacks are that our own internal dissidents will resort to the same tactics. Maybe we lack people that desperate. I'm not sure.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Sensenbrenner is a jackass.

This article on wired just incenses me. Why are we still having this debate? Here is the quote that gets me the most:
Sensenbrenner wanted to know how Pelosi planned to control global warming and not "wreck the American economy," especially if other countries such as China and India, who are also big polluters, refuse to clamp down on emissions and could welcome outsourced jobs from the United States should an economic slow down occur here.

Doesn't Sensenbrenner realize that the economy will be fucked if we are up to our knees in seawater and our eyeballs in displaced people. The economy will be fine, but not if the sea level rises the predicted 20 inches.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Concessions of a Retarded Stripper.

First, let me preface this entry with an admission. I have what some have called a "mean sense of humor". They are probably right. It is not that I don't feel your pain, it is just that most human endeavors, when looked at from a cosmic scale are comedy. Tragedy devolves into irony and irony when looked at from the right angle becomes uproariously funny. Whether this is actually the case, or I have just fallen prey to my own bullshit, I will leave for someone else to decide. With that disclaimer out of the way, I will get down to the real purpose of this post. A while back the notion of a hypothetical "retarded stripper" started to strike me as funny. How would such a notion even occur to me? It all started with a somewhat involuntary interaction with and obviously drunk stripper. Her mush mouthed slurred propositions struck me as funny. My mind wandered and I eventually started thinking about a hypothetical retarded stripper. This concept made me laugh. Before you jump to judge me, just know that I'm not the only one. I know for sure that other people have laughed out loud at the idea. If you are one of those people who just don't see it as funny, maybe these three easy steps will help:

Step 1: Tragic Concept -- Retarded Stripper
Step 2:
Step 3: Comedy -- pee your pants laughing.

As you can see, it is quite logical. If I've already lost you I'm sorry. Maybe there are a few reruns of Full House that will grab your attention. Anyway, I thought the notion of a Retarded Stripper was so funny that it called for a website that told her tale. Named "Confessions of a Retarded Stripper", this site would be replete with humorous quotes as well as funny video of folks acting like a retarded stripper. Have I lost you yet? So, I went so far as to register a domain and put together a blog. It was at this point that my conscience started to catch up to me. Yes I have one. It might be small and under developed, but I'm not completely dead on the inside. Anyway, I decided that, much like masturbation, making fun of retarded people is something that should be done in private. Because of this, the site has languished and gone without my attention for a couple of months. Much like many of my other "Great Ideas"TM. I'd pretty much forgotten about the whole thing until a few days ago. It was as that point in time that I got something in the mail that grabbed my attention. It was a piece of bulk mail congratulating me on the opening my new business and offering to sell me all sorts of wonderful paper products. The funny thing is that it was addressed to Concessions of a Retarded Stripper. Maybe I will start selling peanuts and soda from the site. I'm sure that some aggregator harvested my address from the DNS registrations and just mass mailed me the packet. What I find funny is that somewhere, somebody took it upon themselves to change the spelling of one word to make it look like that domain was registered to a legitimate business.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Installation Art and the Magic of Water Boarding.

I have a lot of sympathy for Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens. They are probably getting the Abner Louima treatment from the Boston Police Department right now. Once they've finished violating these two's fleshy nether regions with whatever plumbing instruments are lying around, I'm sure they will probably hand him over to the FBI/CIA in a black bags and zip tie hand cuffs for some gentle persuasion that they lovingly call stress positions, sleep deprivation, water boarding and pain "equivalent in intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death". What did Peter and Sean do to deserve this? They hung a few of these led light boards around Boston. Watch out for your cornhole guys.