Wednesday, March 29, 2006


Originally, I was going to write about my trip to Copper Mountain Colorado to snowboard. I now have a slightly different story to tell. Monday night I had what amounted to a first date. It wasn't really much of a first date. Not much to speak of. Let me say that it wasn't all that bad, but nothing special. After finishing the tea that we'd talked over we walked back to our cars. We shook hands and said goodnight. As she crossed the street she turned and said goodnight. There was something about her voice that startled the crows in the tree over me. They all took off from the tree at the same time. I was pelted by bird shit. She looked back at me in horror. All I could manage to say is, "Wonderful". When I got home, I found that I'd been hit by at least 8 birds and that doesn't count what I had in my hair.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Why do I have to stick my ass in the air to get a drink of water?

Two posts in the same day. Can you tell that I'm already in vacation mode? Recently, I've severely restricted my intake of carbonated beverages. This poses a problem because I'm constantly thirsty. I need a drink in front of me at all times. I've switched to water and at work the water comes from special pedestals that have a water filter built into them. Instead of bottles, they are fed via a pipe with tap water. As I'm standing there bent over with my ass in the air filling up a water bottle, I'm wondering to myself, why the hell is the spout so low on this damned thing? It could just as easily have been placed at waist height or higher. Don't get me wrong, I understand why you'd do that with a dispenser that used water bottles, but why with this setup. I blame it on laziness and lack of imagination.

Atheists are the new Communists

It turns out that I'm considered, by 2000 randomly chosen persons, to be outside the moral boundary of our nation. I’m among a group more vilified than any other minority in this country. They hate me more than Muslims and gays. How about that? From the article, "Many of the study’s respondents associated atheism with an array of moral indiscretions ranging from criminal behavior to rampant materialism and cultural elitism." I eat children and kick puppies as well.

I've struggled with the label atheist for a long time. I'm not sure how I feel about a god, but I'm pretty sure that whatever book you are going to point me to or whatever idea you are going to try and get me to buy into is baloney. That more or less makes me an agnostic, but I think "agnostic" is kind of a chicken shit stance. Like admitting that I don't have the balls to say that you are wrong. What really galls me is the notion that I somehow lack a moral compass just because I choose not to take my marching orders from an imaginary man in the sky. I'm done writing for now, my neighbor's dog wants to have a conversation.

Sunday, March 19, 2006


Have you ever had one of those evenings where everything just seems to go right? I just did. I know by writing about this, I'm probably going to jinx things, but.... I had a date tonight. This was actually the most atypical of dates I've had in a while.

I've been going on a lot of dates recently. Probably averaging about one a week. Is that a lot? I think so. Most of these have been pretty anticlimactic. Either she's not interested or I'm not interested or we are both not interested. On most of these dates there's been a palpable feeling in the air that one or both of us had a strong desire to run screaming from the table. This evening did not feel like that. I won't go into details because they really aren't that important, but things just seem to go well. We had a late dinner (8:30) at Lidia's. I arrived a little early and she arrived on time. The restaurant was running a little behind so we stood at the bar and had a glass of wine. At first I was nervous. Would she bolt from the bar while she had a chance? Would we ever get seated? What the heck was taking so long? About 20 minutes later we were seated. The restaurant was packed We got one of those tiny two person tables that is barely big enough to hold two water glasses and the salt and pepper shakers. Eventually, the dinner began. I won't bother to recount the details of the food. It wasn't spectacular or memorable, but her company more than compensated. We were then until well after the restaurant closed. We talked on things all over the map. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed myself. It was one of those conversations where there weren't any of those uncomfortable silences. There were a few lulls in the conversation, but none where I had that panicked feeling of, what the hell do I say now. We ate dinner and had dessert. We finished off most of a bottle of wine. We were there well beyond closing time. Eventually we decided that we'd kept the staff there long enough and it was time to clear out. On the way back to the car, as we were exchanging goodnights, she nonchalantly shook my hand and leaned in for the most chaste of kisses. I was stunned, flattered and relieved. How wonderful. It is pretty obvious that I'm not the smoothest of characters and I'd just been out smoothed by this pretty girl with the sparkling blue eyes. We then walked back to our cars. I drove home with a nice buzz and a tingle on my lips. I'm not sure how much was from the wine and how much was from the kiss. What a wonderful evening.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Confederate States of America

Everybody I know is raving about the movie, Confederate States of America. This is a fake BBC documentary that chronicles the history of the theoretical nation known as the Confederate States of America. This nation, the product of a southern victory in the civil war retains the institution of slavery. The film chronicles the history of the CSA from the southern victory to modern times. Each of the events chronicled makes use of bits and pieces of the real past and mixes them in with an interesting twist. For example, after the south wins the war an all out search for Abraham Lincoln is made by the southern armies. It turns out that he is being helped to escape to Canada by Harriet Tubman. As they attempt to cross into Canada, Lincoln is captured. To add insult to injury he's captured wearing blackface. This fact is repeatedly lampooned, but most notably in an interesting remake of The Birth of a Nation.

I've been struggling to fairly describe this movie. I didn't think it was that great, but I don't want to give the impression that it is without merit. I wouldn't want to prevent people from seeing it. I was chatting with someone about the movie and I think that conversation best expresses my feelings. I'm lazy, so rather than edit into something coherent, I will copy and paste it here and let you sort out the mess.

(11:04:14) Somebody Else: did you see the movie this week?
(11:04:24) Me: oh. yes.
(11:04:25) Somebody Else: and
(11:04:28) Somebody Else: how was it
(11:05:14) Me: I'm tempted to say ham handed, but so many people are raving about it that I feel like I'm kicking somebody's puppy.
(11:05:42) Me: I think if it had been made 10 years ago, it would have been a classic
(11:06:54) Me: The premise is still a good one, but some of the lengths that the director had to go to, to pull it off, are a bit tired.
(11:07:39) Somebody Else: interesting
(11:07:44) Me: He has to sling around as many racial stereotypes and epithets in a comical manner that it looses its power.
(11:08:02) Me: I think Spike Lee did it much better in Bamboozled.
(11:09:23) Me: But that's just me. I know a lot of people are raving about it. I think it is still worth seeing, but it definitely didn't feel ground breaking to me.

So there you have it. Once again, this movie is a valiant effort, but not a classic in my eyes.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Hooray for global warming

Thanks to the recent warm snap I've had the chance to get the bike out of the garage on a couple occasions over the last few days. I even rode to work this morning. With the expectation that I'd be cold this morning, I preemptively put the liner into my motorcycle jacket. That is a decision I now regret. I was sweating my ass off the whole way in. Global warming or just a warm snap, I'm happy. If spring hasn't sprung, it is about to.