Saturday, December 04, 2004

What the hell do I want? Part II

In a previous post, I spent some time enumerating what I'm looking for in a significant other. The topic came up again last night at my company's holiday party. The person that I was speaking with mentioned that she had a list. I mentioned mine as well. We started comparing notes. It soon became obvious that hers was a little more detailed than mine. This point was made abundantly obvious when she asked me what was on my list. I didn't do too well.

Now, let me back up a bit and give some context. Like I said, this was a company function. Anybody who knows me knows that I work for a company full of drunks. Furthermore, anybody who knows me knows that I'm not above knocking a few back on occasion. This was one of those occasions. By this point in the evening I'd partaken of some of the food, and some of the drink. I'd managed to burn the roof of my mouth early on with some of the food, so it kind of hurt when I ate. This caused me to spend a little more time drinking than eating. I'm not saying I was drunk, just a little unfocused.

Now let’s get back to my original point. The person with whom I was speaking had just asked me what was on my list. All I could remember (in my semi-addled state) was "intelligent" and "a breeder". Have you ever said something and had the entire group of people around you lean back and just kind of look at you? Yup, that happened. Smooth Aaron, smooth. Fortunately, the person with whom I was speaking had the grace and poise not to call me a "male chauvinist pig asshole" in a loud voice and then storm off. She would have been justified, but she didn't. This allowed me some time to revise and extend my earlier remarks enough so that we managed to have a meaningful conversation for most of the rest of the evening.

Now when I first started thinking about these events I felt like my list was inadequate. The more I think about it I don't think so. If anything it may be too long. So here's my second whack at this. More or less I removed the things that ought to be obvious, and added on criteria.

  1. Intelligent -- I'm not saying she needs to be the next Einstein, but I'd like someone with whom I can have more than a 30 second conversation about the meaning of life.
  2. Sense of humor -- This is a must. I like to think that I have a sense of humor. It may be a little warped, but I like to think that I can take a joke. I would hope that the person that I end up with can laugh at the things in life that are laughable, and also laugh about the things that hurt as well.
  3. Interested in a family -- This is another thing that is very important to me. I'm ready to have a family. I've been ready for a while. I'd like to have children of my own and I hope to find someone that feels the same. When I originally wrote this on the window at work I wrote it as "a breeder", that was my idea of a joke. Like I said my sense of humor is a little warped.
  4. Not Insane -- Please notice that I didn't say she must be sane. I think sanity can at times be over rated. I'm just looking for someone who is reasonable to deal with 98% of the time. We all have our days.
  5. Open Minded -- While we all have our prejudices, I'm not interested in someone who is hopelessly tied to them.
  6. Something else -- There really needs to be that indefinable quality to this person. I know that statement is a total cop out. Let me try and explain myself better. Have you ever looked someone in the eye, and know that they perceive more than most people do? Their gaze seems to pierce. That's part of it, but not all of it. Have you ever watched a crowd of people laugh and see the one person that really gets the joke? That's part of it. Have you ever been telling a totally bullshit story to a crowd of people and see in someone's face a recognition that you are full of it, and know that they'd think it was funnier if they joined in, than it would be to point out the flaws in your story. That might be part of it as well.

Anyway, that's the new list. I'm sure this is something that I will continue to ponder, so I will probably revisit this topic.

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