Monday, December 20, 2004

The most excruciating pain ever, or why you should never put Listerine in your eyes or up your nose.

Being the lazy guy that I am, I frequently drink stuff straight from the container it came in. Milk, 2 liters of soda, soy sauce. You name it, I've probably drunk it straight from the bottle. Until this moring that list included mouthwash. Never again. I'd just finished brushing my teeth, and was going to finish of with a shot of Listerine (The new citrus flavor). Through some wierd space time warp of physics, I managed to shoot Listerine up my left nostril, and into my left eye. The mouth of the bottle was facing up, but the Listerine just shot up into my face. If I'm ever stuck in a third world jail, and presented with the alternative between a nose full of Listerine, or bamboo shoots underneath the fingernails, I might just consider the bamboo. This is the most excruciating pain I've ever been in. It's now a couple of hours later, and my eye's quit watering, but my nose won't stop burning. It feels like fire up my nose whenever I take a breath.

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