Saturday, January 13, 2007

Utah Snowboarding Trip

I'm two days into a three day snowboarding trip. So far we've been to Brighton and Snowbird, just outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. If not for the fact that both a baseplate and a binding broke leaving me flipping head over heals down a mountain, Brighton would have been a wholly enjoyable experience. That mishap can be laid at the feet of Burton and not the resort, so all in all I would give them an A for effort. Snowbird on the other hand turned out to be a little less enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast, but... Well, apparently, the deffinition of beginner and intermediate is different depending on where you are. Snowbird had enough runs "marked" as beginner and intermediate (green and blue) that it was a reasonable choice for us since we are all more or less beginner and intermediate level skiers and snowboarders. Well apparently, they lie. Whenever I talked to anyone there they said something like, "Snowbird greens would be blues and blues would be blacks anywhere else. If that is the case, I skied down a black today. Granted, it was fairly short and reasonably wide, but it sure was steep. Imagine a slope so steep that if you fell, you were going to slide half way down before you managed to pile up enough snow to stop your slide. Why do I know this? Because durring the lesson I took today, that is happened durring the first hour and a half. I fell. Repeatedly. I fell so many times that it felt like I'd been worked over with a lead pipe by a 300 lb mobster named Vinnie. There were several occasions where I thought, "oh my, I bet my ankle is about to snap." Fortunately for me, my family is big boned and I think all the bones in my body are more or less intact.

After the day that I'd had, I considered something I'd never considered before. A massage. I'd never considered a massage for several reasons. First, I have a large personal space. If I can't flail my arms wildly without touching you, then you are probably standing too close. The thought of someone, not known to me, touching me creeps me out. Second, happy endings. No, I didn't and wouldn't ask for one, but the thought (no matter how ulikely and absurd) of having to deal with the issue creeped me out. I'm so glad I managed to get over these hangups. After an hour's massage I no longer feel like I've been worked over by Vinnie with a lead pipe, more like my first grade teacher (Ms. Espy) with a wiffle ball bat. I still hurt everywhere, but now I can manage to turn my neck and not worry that I might pass out from the pain. The masseuse was impressive and well worth the money. (Sorry J, it was a her and her name wasn't Lars)

Back to one of the reasons I hurt so much. The baseplate and binding on my left foot both broke simultaneously while I was in the middle of a pretty sweet couple of turns on a pretty steep blue. This sent me ass over tea kettle down the hill with a giant board strapped to my right foot. I had to gather myself up, check that I'd not broken anything (nor crapped my pants) and then ride my board down the mountain like a sled. Not fun. You will notice the brand of the binding at the left. The baseplate at the right is made by the same company. I can assure you that three things are going to happen. First, I'm sending this back to get it replaced under warranty. Second, I'm going to sell the replacement on e-bay. Finally, I'm never giving any more of my money to the maker of these products.
One more day left on the trip. Let's hope I make it.

2 comments:

BL said...

Well mista board guy.
Would you be interested in revisiting our previous discussion about K2 Clickers? The ALL METAL STEP-IN!

Have fun and bust a tree.

IAmMonkeyBoy said...

Yeah. I will probably consider that next time I buy a setup. I think I'm going to try and get another season out of this board, bindings and boots.