Saturday, January 28, 2006

The wonders of sleeping on the couch.

I've never been a fan of sleeping on the couch. Why bother? Even back when I was married. If Danielle and I ever had a fight, there was no way I would sleep on the couch. F that. If you don't want to sleep in the same bed with me, then you ride the couch. For that reason and the fact that she and I didn't fight in that way I don't have much experience with falling asleep on the couch. I did last night though. I managed to a fall asleep about 11 and woke up at 4. At 4 I was still so tired, that I said "fuck it" and fell back asleep, rather than get up and go to bed. That was probably my first mistake. I woke up about half an hour later and couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to schlep my ass back upstairs. I took my laptop along with me. (Second mistake) It is normal for me to be unable to sleep immediately when I go to bed, so I usually read. Rather than read one of the three books in which my place is marked by either a napkin, plane ticket or a take out restaurant menu, I decided to cruise the web. (Third mistake)

Since the internet is truly the source of all knowledge, I decided to do a little research. During dinner, a friend of mine mentioned her personal record for the number of times to have masturbated in one day. Seven. Given that my own personal best is probably in that range I was reassured that this person, who I consider "normal", was at least as frustrated/bored/horny as I'd once been. I know it is weird, but I was reassured by that. This little fact stuck in my head. How much does a normal person set aside for "me time", and how often is "normal"? Am I normal, or did I just manage to meet someone else who was sitting at the far end of the Bell curve? Yes, I knew going into this, that the search was futile, but I was bored and unable to sleep, so what else was I going to do. He he.

When I am in the midst of internet research, my first, last and usually only stop is Google. I googled around for a while and found nothing to answer my question, but like almost every trip to the internet I soon found something to pique my interest. While I do keep a blog I'm not an avid reader of blogs. This one just happened to catch my eye. The only problem was that it was on a for pay site. The site is called nerve. Most of their content is free for the public. There are however sections that are marked as "for premium members only". I managed to stumble across one and was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to see all the pictures. Just for you that don't know, nerve is one of the more cerebral adult oriented sites. Is that an oxymoron? Is it possible to be adult oriented, pornographic even and be cerebral at the same time? That is a mental exercise left to the reader. I don't really care at this moment.

OK. I'm now three paragraphs into this post and I'm not sure why I started it. The titled doesn't seem to match the topic of the post much. Oh well. I guess the point is probably a bad idea to buy a subscription to a porn site at 4 in the morning after sleeping on the couch. Consider yourself warned.

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