I will be skydiving for the first time tomorrow. It will be a tandem jump, so there's not much to what I need to know or do. They strap a guy who knows what he's doing to my back and throw me out of the plane. Want to know what I'm scared of the most? Crapping my pants. Imagine a minute or two in freefall with a load in your shorts and another guy strapped to your back. He pulls the rip cord and the load flies out your pant leg. What will be even more classic is that I will be having the whole thing taped and photographed.
Look honey. There's where I loaded up my shorts. I don't know where that came from. I generally don't eat that much corn.
And now see the look on my face when he pulls the rip cord. There was poop everywhere.
Talk to you tomorrow.